Drew Payneís Website

50 Shades of Parody

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† Iíve got this great idea for a new book.

Publisher:†††††††††††† As your publisher, Iím always interested in any ideas youíve got.

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† Itís for a parody.

Publisher:†††††††††††† Mmm... That could be interesting.

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† Itís called 50 Shades of Saga Grey, a story of wrinkly sex.

Publisher:†††††††††††† Okay.

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† Maureen, a typical, 76 year old, Home Counties widow, is persuaded to go on a Saga Cruise, by her children. To her surprise she enjoys herself.

Publisher:†††††††††††† This isnít exciting me.

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† On the cruise she meets Clayton, a retired Investment Banker with a shady past.

Publisher:†††††††††††† Still isnít exciting me.

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† Clayton introduces her to a whole new sensual world of sex. He takes her to places her dead husband never took her, not just the Duty Free shop.

Publisher:†††††††††††† Mmm...

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† He loves her support stockings, he reveals in removing her nylon floral print M&S dresses, and he worships her sensible, lace-up, flat heeled shoes. Together they take Senna and have wild nights of passion. Maureen doesnít just ride the waves, she also rides Clayton!

Publisher:†††††††††††† Okay.

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† So youíre interested in it?

Publisher:†††††††††††† This is a parody of 50 Shades of Grey.

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† Yes, therefore itís very topical.

Publisher:†††††††††††† Youíre too late.

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† What?

Publisher:†††††††††††† Weíve already got: 50 Shades of Beige, 50 Shades of Pink, 50 Shades of Red Riding Hood, 50 Shades of Black and Blue, 50 Shades of Blue, 50 Shades of Gravy, 50 Shades of Silver, 50 Shades of Snow White, 50 Shades of Broke, 50 Shades of Gay, and 50 Shades of I-Donít-Give-a-Fuck-About-This-Shittily-Written-Crap!

Author:†††††† †††††††††††† Iíve missed the bandwagon.

Publisher:†††††††††††† By 50 shades.

 

Drew Payne

September 2012.